Jealousy isn't cool

i am so jealous of my husband friends and everyone else who can have a family. ronald doesn't want one. and that is a pain i carry all the time. i see people who have kids and say all the so cute and then i think well maybe some day . well i know that some day is never going to happen. i DO  understand that babies cost alot of money and ronald wants to pay off the bill that racked up there. but i am 24 and everyone says enjoy it while you can .. enjoy what the constant work every day never seeing my husband and when i do see him he seems to never want to see me. we argue so yes some would say please dont bring a baby in that environment i never had a close family bond or love. my dad was always working and mom never cooked good meals or just talked bad about us. and i always said i would love to bring a kid into this world so they know love and happiness and a what a close family is. there are people today who i know that has 4 kids and are my age. and they are doing fine yes some dont own there own house but they are doing great. but the only thing i have is a husband who told me when we started dating oh i cant wait to one day have a family with you. then we get married by 2012 we can buy a house and start a family. well guess what that got my hopes up really bad. we bought a house  in 2009 and adopted 3 animals. and now married for 4 years he  says he never wants kids ... how would you guys take that. he ask me the other day why i am so stress its because of him.  always mad at me and saying hurtful stuff but i idol these girls who are mother and have husbands who support them in every way. i talk adoption or getting pregant and ronald would say then you wont ever see me i will half to get 4 jobs. and it dont help much when my mom says she wants a grandbaby  but all i do is sit back and try to enjoy my life like it is i will half to realize that i wont ever be a mommy and that is how my life is suppost to be.