Dreams, Life ???

i do have dreams and i life to live but how can find a great job who pays well  that i can make my dreams comes true and life with my husband happy what can i do to make him appreciate me?  why do i think this ? he says me working for walmart is good for me but i want these bills to DIE and be gone i feel like nobody likes me for me and love me for me. there are people  at work who say eww and that i am ugly but am i really do i look that bad. maybe if i had the money i would be who i want and get what i want. but see that takes money lots of it and  ronald doesnt want me to work a second job  he said its not worth it. but i dont know what my brain says anymore i dont know any thing any more  my personal married life  is bad it has been like this since i said i do but really how do i fix it. everytime i talk about kids  he gets pist off or if i am honest with him he brushes it off. what should i do if i said we need counseling he would laugh at me and say ya right whatever. but me wrighting this blog is helping me alot